My crush in 8th grade.

I had the fucking biggest crush on this kid back in grade school, when I was an ugly nerd with braces and he was a big headed nerd who was like, the only kid in our class that wasn't ugly and disgusting. Oh dreamy sigh. Eric Mascara. I brought him to his first concert ever. It was Blink 182. I can't think of what year it was. We were BFF. One day I finally snapped that summer and told him I liked him and he rejected me. What a bastard. But he said to me, "Dani, you have a set of balls being so straight forward...blah blah blah" Oh, IF ONLY I DID REALLY HAVE BALLS. It turns out he was/is actually gay the whole time. Which works out for me. Why? Because I never have to be jealous of another women! He will never marry/date any. I won't be jealous of the m4m action either because it doesn't turn me on or anything.

But dreamy sigh oh Ewic my dear, I will always platonic-love you and admire you. You are pretty much a genius with a beautiful face attached and beautiful soul inside. We never hang out but I will always be able to stalk you on Myspace and various other social networking sites. Woohooo! Maybe since I am going to grow up into an old maid you will donate some of your precious sperm when I want to breed. Maybe I can try and be a faghag someday? Doubt it, but maybe!